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Hey Lindsey,
Thus I’ve been heading crazy with racking your brains on if my personal one friend really likes me personally. Very here’s many of the points that have happenedâ¦.So as soon as we initially became pals she made a build a keep and mentioned it actually was the child and then she planned to fake go out and that I swear she used to be all flirty however when we told her that we enjoyed the woman she ended up being all like i love you also and a friend and I also’m puzzled because I thought I happened to be appropriate and I also ended up being just thinking would not you believe the same when someone did that for you?
-Becca
Hey Becca,
I have found it better to think individuals when they tell me the way they feelâbest as the alternative is simply driving me crazy second guessing exactly why their words and steps you should not line up, exactly what changed, and whether or not it was something I did. That type of crazy making never ever will get me anyplace. However for quite a long time I managed to get trapped with it, therefore I seriously comprehend where your mind is at.
Your friend isn’t into you. She wants you as a pal. You’re having trouble trusting their for the reason that her flirtatious behavior.
Here is the fact, however. Your own pal may have wanted to “fake go out” you as a way to find out if she would want to in fact date youâand decided that she wouldn’t wish date you for so many appropriate reasons, many becoming:
⢠she’s attracted to your body yet not mentally or vice versa
⢠She is bicurious not prepared to date a woman
⢠she’s got feelings for an ex and it isn’t prepared be with anybody immediately
⢠She likes interest from womenâand homosexual women readily give attention to various other ladies despite their own sexuality
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We have now discussed flirty friendships before, and
you can read about this right here
if this can help you get a hold of closure from entire situation.
You didn’t ask me exactly what your friend ended up being thinking, however. You requested everything I might have made of her behavior additionally the response is: It depends.
You’ll find definitely times I would have believed she was into me, just like you performed. There’s also times I would personally have experienced through the woman conduct to know that she wanted my affection and interest, but could not reciprocate romantically.
There are undoubtedly occasions I would have presumed she ended up being into me personally, just like you did. Additionally there are times i’d have seen through the woman conduct in order to comprehend that she wished my passion and interest, but would not reciprocate romantically.
Really does your friend determine as a lesbian, or provides she ever before dated or slept with a female? If she’s already been directly determined until she said she wanted to fake go out both you and have a bear baby, however’d brush off the woman behavior as common flirty/bicurious direct girl. I could have flirted and already been caring together with her when it helped me feel well to achieve that, not expected it develop into anything real.
Certainly, for a few people, female sexuality is fluid and a few of the straight-identified females would go on to embrace their particular bi or lesbian part, ultimately, sometimes with all the females they flirt with. It would possibly happenâbut it’s unusual, and it is normally a complete waste of psychological electricity to follow those girls.
Indeed, for a lot of, feminine sexuality is actually fluid and a few of these straight-identified ladies carry out carry on to embrace your bi or lesbian area, eventually, often together with the women they flirt with. It could happenâbut it really is rare, and it’s often a waste of emotional energy to follow those ladies.
If I knew she liked females and she acted this way, I would personally have believed I’d the opportunity along with her and could have expected this lady out. However, she made herself clear. She desires a friendship only. Carry out her (and you also) the favor of trusting this lady, and find a person who is actually psychologically available and it is really a lesbian or bisexual.
If you wish to pull back through the relationship for a while, since you’ve thought there seemed to be possible while’ve been rebuffed, that’s fine. Require some room out of this pal before youare able observe her platonically once again. Utilize that more time to follow different females to make it obvious to your gal pal that you will be driving for dateable women to eliminate any weirdness either of you could be feeling.
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